This is a guest post authored by Kristen Hurst
Everyone’s approach is different. Some people choose not to announce their pregnancy at all, others stick to just family and some like to make a splash. There is no right or wrong way to let people know you’re expecting, but there are a lot of different ideas.
However, if you choose not to make a public announcement (or let everyone know over social media) it can be a bit of a disappointing or irritating shock if someone else accidentally lets your big news slip. Plenty of people, for whatever reason prefer to keep their pregnancy private, and tell a select few.
Imagine their surprise when they logged in to Facebook and see a post announcing their news. There are a lot of things to consider before spilling pregnancy news and especially if it’s not your news to tell, you might want to check with your family or friend before clicking ‘post’.
Why you may consider keeping it a secret through the first trimester
Many couples like to wait until around 12 to 14 weeks to share the news. Couples that choose to wait often do so because of uncertainty or even fear. Sadly 10 to 25 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage and an overwhelming 80 percent happen during the first trimester. To avoid announcing a pregnancy and then having to follow up with devastating news of a miscarriage, for some people it’s easier to wait.
Other people choose to wait out of consideration for other couples they may know who are trying to get pregnant, have someone they love who recently had a miscarriage, or a couple that is infertile. Of course it is a personal choice to share news of a pregnancy and consideration for friends is a sweet gesture.
Sometimes, instead of waiting out of concern for friends, couples wait out of concern for their other children. It can be difficult telling your other child or children they are going to have a new sibling and it can be nice to give them time to digest the news on their own and give you time to get them comfortable with the news. Sometimes telling them it’s a secret just for them can help them with the news and help build their bond of trust with you.
Finally, it can be overwhelming fielding calls, advice and generally family excitement over your news. By waiting you can give yourself time to think about your approach and plans without the added advice and opinions of your family and friends. You also can use this time to decide on fun ways to tell your family and in-laws your news. Pregnant Chicken has some great ideas how to do this.
But it can be fun to share your news too though
Some people love to share their news. Especially, it seems, for people who have a lot of friends and family that don’t live close by. Regular status updates and photos can be a fun way to share your pregnancy with family who can’t be with you and let them get to know you’re little one before they have a chance to officially meet.
If there’s two of you involved, it’s important to discuss beforehand who you’re going to tell and when. Some couples choose close friends who can offer emotion support if the worst were to happen a little earlier, and other stick to just close friends and immediate family instead of their collective social circles and distant relatives.
There are some benefits to telling your secret, too. Especially if it’s your first pregnancy, tips from friends to help you get through your first trimester can be a life saver. But if you want to wait, wait as long as you’d like
The important thing it, there’s no right or wrong time to announce your pregnancy. If you choose to, it can be fun to wait until your 20-week ultra sound. That’s generally when you get an idea of your baby’s growth, current health status and the exciting gender reveal. There’s still plenty of time for your family and friends to get excited about your growing family (and belly), and you can really start planning colors, buying clothes and thinking about baby names.
But if you still want to keep your secret to yourself, it’s okay to wait until after your baby is born too. Some people will probably already know—it gets hard to hide your belly in those later months—but waiting to tell your social networks (like Facebook friends) until after the baby is born can take a lot of pressure out of your pregnancy too.
How and when you decide to announce is a very personal decision, don’t feel pressure to do anything you’re not comfortable with, and above all, enjoy your pregnancy.
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